May 2, 2009

The Great Match!


Don Bosco Lilua and St.Xavier’s Kolkata, were the two cut throat competitors in the annual school football match. It was like Brazil playing Arzentina in the World Cup Final, where enthusiasm and emotions ran very high, in an environment which became most electrifying. But, it was mostly Don Bosco Lilua who lifted the trophy. And beating Don Bosco was always like a much cherished dream for the Xaverians.

Saurav was in the St.Xavier’s team as a striker. He knew that Don Bosco was a better team, but just could not accept the fact that his own team members were mentally prepared for a defeat already. He went up to Snehasis and asked him:


“Dadabhai, why are we so much afraid of Don Bosco?”
“It happens when you get defeated continuously,” Snehasis replied.
“But why should we get defeated again and again. Why can’t we fight back? Underdogs do win, don’t they? Look at Cameroon. If they could stop Argentina, why can’t we stop Don Bosco?”
“What will you do?” Snehasis asked.
“All I can do, Dadabhai is to score goal, and I will only try my best to do that. I won’t ever accept defeat before the last whistle is blown.”
Marvelled at his bro’s attitude, Snehasis caringly remarked, “But, remember you will alone have to fight in the beginning.”
“I will, and I will also make others play, just like Maradona or Majid does”.

Saurav’s inspiration was Maradona and Majid Bascar of the East Bengal Club team. He also donned a No.10 Jersey like them.

The D-day had come. The match between Xaviers and Don Bosco had started. Surprisingly Xavier’s managed to score the first goal and managed to keep it 1-0 for the first half of the match.

No sooner, had the 2nd half started Xavier’s faced a series of attack from the Don Bosco strikers. They tried their best to defend, but attacks were incessant and a leveller seemed impending. Finally at the 65th Minute of play, Don Bosco scored a leveller. It was 1-1 for the two teams now. This triggered an even fiercer attack from Don Bosco, trying to take the lead. Xaverians managed to hold on like this till the 90th minute, and the match went into extra time. Both teams were exhausted but were ready to take on each other for the final few minutes.

Saurav, was playing in the Centre Field, when suddenly somebody passed the ball to him. In a flash he started rushing to Don Bosco Goal with the ball, dodging mid fielders and defenders one after another. He came near the goal post, lobbed the ball with his left feet and hit a hard volley with his right.... The goalie missed it completely and Goaallllllllllllllll !!!!!!

Xavier’s won the match, 2-1.

The inborn ‘never say die attitude’ in Sourav was metamorphosed into a strong self belief, by successes like these, in his childhood. Much later in his career, he was able to infuse this self belief into an ailing Indian Team, in the post Azhar, bribe scam hit era; and transform them into a bunch of fighters who were ready to take on Giants on their own home turf.

....... to be contd.
Source: Inspired by the Book, “Saurav” by Shantipriya Bandopadhay

May 1, 2009

The Way to Lords - The making of Saurav Ganguly


Lordie, Dada, Prince of Kolkata ... no matter whatever you call him, Saurav Ganguly is best described as the Phoenix, the Fighter who has risen to glory from impending oblivion, again and again!

But not many are aware of the making of this great fighter of Indian Cricket...the stories of his early years! Henceforth I shall dedicate much of this Blog space in the honour of Dada, and retrace his path from childhood to his debut at Lords.

The Passion for Football

Cricket has been in the blood of the Gangulys. Chandi Ganguly, father of Saurav was a 1st class cricketer himself. Later on, he became a Cricket Association of Bengal (CAB) official, along with managing the family business. Chandi Ganguly always dreamt that his two sons, Snehasis and Saurav will play for India, like Surinder and Mahinder Amarnath. Although Snehasis was dedicatedly playing cricket for school and club team, to fullfill his father’s dream, young Saurav, was living in the world of Football.

During this time his uncle got him a pair of Reebok shoes from Singapur. This was the most precious possession that little Saurav had and would spent hours donning them before the mirror, and gloat in glory.

Saurav loved to play football more than anything else. He was a regular player in St.Xavier’s School football team. An amusing incident happened. Saurav’s parents decided to have a Bengali tutor for him. His tutor would come in the evening, for the classes soon after Saurav returned from school. Young Saurav was very upset at this. Evening was the time for him to kick the football with his para (neighbourhood) friends, and no way was he going to study Bengali sacrificing football. But he was too scared to revolt, before his parents as well. After some hard thinking he came up with a strategy.

He went up to his tutor, and told:

“Sir, can I ask you something?”

“Yes, go on.”

“You seem too tired after your day’s work. Even I come exhausted from school. Why don’t both of us take some rest, before we commence with our studies,” Saurav suggested.

“Hmm, that’s not a bad idea. Its true we both get very tired, after day’s work”, his teacher observed thoughtfully.

“That’s great Sir. You rest at my room, while i shall go upstairs and take a nap. Then we can start afresh”

Gangulys were a joint family with a palace like mansion. So it was not possible for the family members to take much notice if someone quietly sneaks out of the house. Thus every evening Saurav would hit the football ground, while his parents thought that he was studying in his room.

... to be contd.

My new resolution - Sick with KKR

Another predictable but most disheartening loss for Kolkata Knight Riders against the Mumbai Indians. It seems Mc Cullum was injured... he didn't keep wickets and came to Bat at No.6. Bravo Skipper! He surely belong to those species of leaders who lead from the back! Full Score to the Phoren Babas (Mathew Mott & Buchanon) as well for accurately screwing up in every match.
Buchanon was caught on camera signaling to Mc Cullum (perhaps), that it was the END, soon after Hodge's departure. And it is truely the end of Knight Riders IPL Dream! The only solace for 'King Khan' is that he now would not have to spend money in buying the return tickets to South Africa.
Fake IPL Player it seems, is also runing out of newer ideas and sensations. He is mostly likely to fade out with the KKR as well.
But, the show must go on. And I have decided to dedicate most of this blog space for our only hero in KKR team - Dada!

April 29, 2009

More Nicknames Decoded - from the last blog of Fake IPL Player

One more Blog from the Fake IPL Player, and few more trademark names! I have decoded them, and are as follows:
  • Boy George: Joy Bhattacharya, for sure. He is the ‘Team Director’ of the KKR, responsible for team management. All he manages therefore is to throw some management jargons from time to time, and do some blogging for KKR website.
    B.t.w, guess what’s the academic qualification of Joy Bhattacharya? He is a Maths graduate, and has done his Masters in Computer Application from Jadavpur University.
    According to USA based IT expert Vivek Dwivedi, the language used in ‘fakeiplplayer’ blog and its style-sheet suggests that it’s not something done by a common cricketer. The Blogger has decent knowledge of information technology and that’s why he hasn’t used any gadget that can reveal his identity.If the Blogger truely is from the KKR team, then Joy Bhattacharya seems to be the most qualified of the lot!!! This is just a food for thought.
  • Gilly Danda: Seems ‘Danda’ is derived from ‘Dinda’..which makes Ashoke Dinda as our Man .. err ..sorry..Knight, in question.
  • Little Sister: What makes Fake IPL Player blogs so special is his ability to throw up little hints at ‘masala’ stuff from time to time. Sheikh (Shane Warne).. “settling for Little Sister. It's not known yet whether the issue has been nailed or not.” Haha… No doubt Little Sister is Shamita Shetty, sister of Shilpa Shetty alias Big Sister
  • Mangal Pandey: LR Shukla is the only man left out. So its a choice by elimination and not selection. I am not sure what made Fake IPL Player name his that, apart from a few hints that he fancies himself as skipper for the next season!
  • Style Bhai: This has to be Murali Kartick. The choice is for two reasons: (i)Style Bhai is a spinner, as evident from the Fake IPL Player’s blog (ii) He is a heck of a stylist, with ear studs et al.

April 28, 2009

John Buchanan ('Bookha Naan') Interview on KKR!

Here is what John Buchanan had to say to Ananda Bazaar Patrika reporter, Gautam Bhattacharya. The interview appeared in Sports page of the Daily on 29th April’09. I am attempted an English translation of the interview and have inserted my personal comments in parenthesis below.

Interview:
Q: It is believed by many that removing Saurav from Captaincy has been unfair, and led to the bad performance of the team. What is your logic behind removing Saurav from Captaincy?
A: It is not a personal decision taken due to a personal prejudice. The decision was taken in the interest of the Franchisee and its future.

(My comments: Amazing how far sighted Bookha Naan is! Want to know the power of his Glasses!)

Q: That is fine. But, why was there so much delay in change of Captaincy? And why was there so much mystery surrounding it. It has all been done at the very last moment. Even Mc Cullum must have faced much problem, at the late appointment.
A: Although we initiated the process pretty late, I am sure that this is the best combination possible.

(My Comments: Bookha Naan could have kept the truth pretty short and simple by saying, “Well, I got this dream (Multiple Captains) very recently”)

Q: Where is the evidence on Field? Do you still have any hope of going into the Semis?
A: Ya, we have. If we can win 6 out of the remaining 9 games, we still can reach semis as 2nd or 3rd team.

(My Comment: Now you know why Bookha Naan spends all the time with his Lappy. He tries to calculate the numbers in MS Exel.)

Q: You had said in Kolkata, that there shall be four Captains in the KKR team. We haven’t seen any such thing yet. There is only one leader – Mc Cullum
A: Multiple Captains is not what I meant. I meant Multiple Leadership. Mc Cullum is surely the Captain, but responsibility for setting the field is shared by Hodge and Gayle. Batting Order is decided by Mathew Mort. I didn’t deviate from what I said, did I?

(My Comment: Johnie, haven’t u ever learnt in your Nursey class, the proverb, “Too many cooks spoil the broth”? Time to go to school, Johnie.)

Q: So you are saying that you haven’t decided the Batting Order in a single Match, still?
A: No. The entire thing has been decided by Mathew. We have a good understanding.

(My Comments: Amazing! So what are u getting paid for? Dreaming of combinations and learning MS Exel?)

Q: Tell me something frankly. Why is KKR passing through such horrible time? Australia never reached a similar state in your tenure as Coach?
A: Australia passed through the same, many times. Didn’t we loose the Ash’s series? This team has done so too much of hard practice. That is making them stiff perhaps. We must be more relaxed and be able to control the first six overs of the game.

(My Comments: Well the real reason of stiffness is your presence Mr. Buchanan and member of Buchanan Foundation. It is natural to become stiff for normal people, if they suddenly find themselves in an Asylum, controlled by bunch of mad buffoons!)

Q: You had the best success rate among coaches. You have now got a blot on your record.
A: Haa! A T20 tournament result cannot tarnish my record for Team Australia. The sole goal of a Franchisee should not be to win matches only. It should aim at building a strong foundation for the future, by balancing the present with future.

(My comments: Wonder who was the last Aussie, to become a Philosopher from Cricket Coach and when? Think think..... It was Greg Chappel, just before he got the BOOT from the Indian Cricket Team.)

Q: What is Shahrukh, saying?
A: He is backing me extremely well. The help I am getting from the Franchisee is unprecedent.

(My comment: One advice for u Mr. Coachie. Never forget Shahrukh’s main profession. He is an Actor. You must have seen his acting skills soon after you announced your multiple captain theory, when he backed Saurav on Media and you behind closed doors! So whatever you do, Mr. Coachie, never allow him to get at your back. You never know what can happen!! Hope you got the message.)

Q: All said and done, if the team fails, you shall be the one in the Firing Squad. Does this thought occur to you?
A: That is a part of the system. If the system you built is of no use to the franchisee, I shall have to go. There is no way out. The bullet shall come and hit you. That is the condition of the job.

(My comment: I just pray that it is not a bullet that sends you out, but a kick to show you the door.)

Q: Last one. When Gayle leaves, do you think Ganguly should open with Mc Cullum?
A: I am not thinking of that right now. Hodge can also open.

(My Comment: Speak the truth Coachie. You should have said, “I am following a NO GANGULY policy, since Greg is my idol and I don’t care if I have to meet the same fate.”)


DISCLAIMER: The above is just a translation of the interview that appeared in Ananda bazaar, on 29th April’09. My comments within the parenthesis are solely my personal opinion.

Prime Suspect!

Well.. what makes one commit crime? As crimonology states:
  • A strong motive which makes one outweigh any cons
  • Ability to execute the intentions
  • An opportunity to allow the intentions to be carried out.

Out of all the names making rounds as suspects, Ranadeb Bose seems to be the hot favorite.
The foremost reason being the interpretation of Fake IPL Player's own blog, where he writes about himself:

"Well, i am the perennial no hoper. In fact, the only time i had hope was when i played for my school. They thought i might make it to the test side one day. Well, made it to the ranjis, but never beyond. And this time round, am part of the ipl. Actually, i am not too sure why i am here. The team's full of super stars and all i do it bowl a bit, bat a bit, and field like a maniac. But, there's one thing i do very well. Serve drinks. And that's what i am expecting do in south africa. As i said, i am a no hoper. And have no hopes of getting a match in ipl."


The Blogger identifies himself as a Ranji Player, who coudn't make it bigger than that. A all rounder, but not a prolific one. In the team his position is mostly that of a 12th Man, who carries Drinks.

The Motive, ability and opportunity theory with some flexibilities, suits too well on Randev:

  1. Ranadeb was hardly in the playing 11 in IPL Season - 1, and dropped soon after that. This time he left KKR and joined Kings XI. So his grudge against the KKR team is high placed. Particularly, the number of characters in his Posts from Kings XI Punjab is only next to that of KKRs. e.g. Appam Chutiya, Prince of Patiala, and Bubliee.
  2. When the Fake IPL Player, uses sarcastic names for almost all the characters, he only uses initials for Ranadeb Bose (RDB).
  3. He holds the world record of bowling 10708 balls in first-class and club games without over-stepping. Although at one point of time in his career, Ranadeb had raised a lot of hope, he couldn't eventually deliver and go bigger than the Ranji Squad.
  4. Ranadeb has done his schooling from St. Lawrence High School Kolkata and completed his Graduation in Commerce from St. Xaviers College, Kolkata. The blogger, Fake IPL Player, no doubt has a good command over english.

This co-relation however seems bit too obvious! As a layman like me could also draw links to Fake IPL Player and Ranadeb. But question remains as to why Ranadeb would risk his career, by continuing to write the Blogs even when there is so much 'hulla gulla' in the media. He cannot be so lame!

So is it someone, who would enjoy, if Ranadeb Bose gets framed? Or is it an unintended link up by junta, which the real Fake IPL Player had perhaps never thought of?

Will time ever answer these questions, or shall this get into the IPL History books as the greatest unsolved mystery.

April 27, 2009

Nicknames Contd.

I have unravelled the mystery of some more nicknames used by the mysterious blogger, Fake IPL Player. The are as usual utterly hilarious and apt. Listing them down again alphabetically with my own explanation.
  • Akram Azam: Kamran Akram
  • Baja of Baroda: Anshuman Gaekwad: Is it because he hails from Baroda? Not sure
  • Bevda Team: The Royal Challengers Bangalore: The owner a daaru wala ... and his team, full of bewdas (bevda)!!
  • Big Mac: The BIG Mathew Hayden ...
  • Bookha Naan: Buchanan - A loser Man!! Don’t want to waste my words on him
  • Chatterjee Kaaku: The Old Uncle from the Ad posted by the KKR (Kolkata Knight Riders) Team where he says ‘Tum Bhi Jeetoge’... perhaps the lone soul .. hoping for a KKR win!
  • Chintu Singh: Anureet Singh: Is Chintu his probable nick name? Cute name
  • Ganji Hanger: Sanjay Bangar - Hanger and Banger does sound similar, doesn’t they? And Ganji Hanger, well perhaps I am not aware if a dedicated Ganji (vest) hanger exists and even if it does, it would surely be the most odd piece of furniture in one’s room
  • Joker: Chang (The nepali guy) who was Indian Idol host... b.t.w. what is he doing here...hosting reality shows, along with Saddy Babe?
  • Little Monster: Sachin Tendulkar: Aptly named!! Our very own little Monster (Master)
  • Peter Ka Beta: Kevin Pietersen?
  • RDB: Ha! .. thats the prime suspect .. Randeep Bose who many think is the real person hiding behind the name “Fake IPL Player”! (I shall dedicate a full post in the honour of our prime suspect)
  • Shakespeare: Akash Chopra: Remember the famous dialogue, “et tu Brutus?”.. Had Shakepeare written it today, the dialogue could have probably been .. “Bloody Shahrukh”... Akash Chopra has an old classical style of playing... and in today’s era of 20-20 fast modern cricket he truly looks like having hailed from the Shakespearean era
  • Sheegra Patan: ‘Patan’ seems to be derived from Pathan. And Yusuf Pathan doesn’t generally believe in hanging on the 22 yards for too long. He scores fast and falls fast as well. So rightly name as Sheegra Patan (Fast Fall).

So thats all the names i could list down as of now. Happy Blogging.

April 26, 2009

Post Mortem Begins - "The Internet Connection Ban" !!

Well lets get on to it!

On April 21, Fake IPL Player wrote that "In Cape Town. Laptops hv bn banned. I'net removed fm rooms. But posts wl continue thru SMS, relayed by my bro in India" .. I made a quick search on the Internet .. but was not able to find any confirmed news on this .. lot of other sites and blogs have just referred, reiterated or quoted what the Fake IPL Player has already stated...

However, I have come across a news report from in Bengali Daily, "Anandabazaar" published by the ABP Group on 24th April, where a very senior reporter reporting from Cape Town and staying in the same hotel as the players confirms in clear terms that there has been no ban on the internet or laptop use for the Kolkata Knights ...

Now lets look at some other facts and try to analyse them independently ... on 21st April the whole team of Kolkata Knight Riders were put up at the 5 star Hotel - One & Only Resorts (http://www.oneandonlyresorts.com/flash.html) along with IPL players belonging to other Franchisees (as reported in Dawn) ..... A quick check for the amenities provided by One and Only Resorts from their website reveal that the Hotel provides Wi-Fi internet connection.

Hence Mr. Fake IPL Player, how is it at all possible to selectively block Wi-Fi access for some guests and not for others, staying at the same hotel !!!!!!!!

And had that been truly done, don't you think it would have been a sensational news for all news hungry journalists out there, hiting the headlines of all 24x7 news channels of our country, and not just remain confined to your Blog only?

A quick reference index of the most innovative Names!

One thing is for sure about the Fake IPL Player .. he has astounding ability to come up with abosutely innovative names of fictious characters with resounding similarities to the real life icons and a Disclaimer of course!!
Here in the Blog, I shall first list down all the names used by him and possible reasons of naming .. with a Disclaimer of course that "ALL NAMES REFERRED HERE ARE BASED ON ANALOGIES DRAWN FROM THE CONTENT OF THE BLOG FAKEIPLPLAYER.BLOGSPOT.COM"

Well here we go alphabetically:
  • Appam Chuthiya: Sreeshanth – The first part ‘Appam’ refers to a Mallu .. the second part to perhaps refer to his character in the views of the Fake IPL Player
  • Badshah Dildo: Shahrukh – Well we all know him as Bollywood Badshah, but badshah dildo? U must allow creative freedom to bloggers
  • Bangla Tiger: Mashrafe Mortaza from Bangladesh or Bangla!
  • Big Sister: Who else other than the Winner of the hyped reality show Big Brother – Shilpa Shetty
  • Bublie: Preity (Pretty) Zinta – self explained :)
  • Calypso King: Chris Gayle – Really looks like a King from Carribean Islands
  • Coachie: Buchanon – Pretty obvious
  • Hawai Chappal: Greg Chappel (Chappal) – Hawai is perhaps to highlight that whatever Greg Chappel said/ says is all in “Hawa” .. nothing concrete
  • John Wrong: John Wright (Right) .. use of paradox
  • Junta Tormentor: Ajantha Mendis – Not sure if by Junta he meant players or spectators .. for spectators he is surely a Junta Treat .. for opposition players he can surely be one hell of a tormentor
  • Kaan molu: Ajit Agarkar - Is it for his large ears tempting the beholders to give them a twist?
  • Kishen Kanhaiya: Ravi Shashtri, perhaps for his much rumoured flirting kissas!
  • Little John: Ishant Sharma who is not ‘Little’ at all!
  • Lordie: Saurav Ganguly – perhaps because he has an Lord like attitude as well as associate with Lords very fondly. Who would forget his shirt waving histrionics at the Lord’s balcony or his century at test debut
  • Meera Bhai: Harbhajan – Bhai is derived from Bhajji perhaps
  • Mr.Batlivala: King of Bottles – Vijay Malya
  • Pedophile Priest: Adam Gilchrist – Seems likely, but not sure what made Fake IPL Player give this name!
  • Phoren Babas: The Support Staff of KKR – Mathew Jones perhaps
  • Prince Charles of Patiala: Yuvraj Singh – A modern Punjabi with a princely attitude!
  • Ram: VVS Laxman – Adopted perhaps after Lord Ram’s mythological bro – “Laxman”
  • Sheikh: Shane Warne – His rumoured desire to build a 'harem' for himself!!

Oops that a long list, that provide only some of the names. Shall provide facts to explain how the Fake IPL Player misguided all of us into his own version of illusions, in the next blog!

Till then Tata.